


They were Golden

by love_in_the_city



Category: The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fitting In, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romantic Soulmates, getting better, struggles of university life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:00:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29950332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/love_in_the_city/pseuds/love_in_the_city
Summary: University was taking a toll on Patroclus, sending him spiralling down, with friend betrayals, and failed classed, gossip about how he is undeserving of Achilles, Patroclus feels sad.The only person who is able to lift him back up is Achilles.
Relationships: Achilles/Patroclus (Song of Achilles)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 45





	They were Golden

**Author's Note:**

> University is hard, believe me I know, am I projecting here a little, yes. Am I also looking for comfort and reflecting it on a couple that I adore the most, also yes. 
> 
> Warnings: Mentions off drinking.

Patroclus was staring up at his ceiling on yet another Saturday. He hated, he hated it, hated how his mind would give out on the weekends, the only days when he got to relax and maybe do something for himself for a change. But that didn’t happen. 

All through the week he fueled himself on pure determination and sense of responsibility that he could never shake of, made it through his classes, did his assignments, and on Saturday morning, woke up to feel like he was dying. 

He turned to his side, wrapping his arms around his torso, and letting a few tears slip from his eyes. He did not even have the energy to wipe them. 

He hated how it has always ended like this, his weeks. He was just so tired. And every time he complained that he was tired, people either told him to manage his time better or that it was life. 

The only person who tried to come up with solutions to help was Achilles. His pretty Achilles that looked down at him with concerned eyes and a frown on his face lately. He hated coming down with whatever he had, depression, tiredness, he did not know. He hated it because he couldn’t do anything for himself except lie with a headache all weekend but mostly, he hated it because he could not spend his time, his precocious, limited time with his boyfriend. 

The tears were coming down his face faster, and he did have to lift his hand up to wipe them now. The thought of not being able to spend time with Achilles hurt him more than the pain he felt in his body. 

Slowly, he reached for his phone on the nightstand. It was past midday already. He cursed himself, he hadn’t done anything and he still had those readings to do for Monday. His list of the things he hated was growing longer each passing second. He saw that he had a few texts from Achilles, who was at track practice at the moment.

He didn’t know how Achilles could go to class, run for school team, run for fun, socialize, have time for Patroclus and still feel fine. 

Patroclus sighed as he sat on the edge of his bed. He knew what was happening to him, but did not want to admit it. He did have a therapist he could talk to about it, the therapist the school provided, but she wasn’t helping much with anything. So, he went on feeling like a burden, a failure, an unwanted person on the weekends, and live to go to class on the week days.

Some days he felt like his sole purpose was to study for his classes, attend them and for what? To fail half of those classes at the end of each semester. Become a disappointment for his dad and make way for his mother to make her plans for his life come alive. 

He needed Achilles, he needed him to wrap his arms around him before he spiraled down further more. Achilles was nothing but encouraging towards him, sporting him through his struggles, failed classes and his problems about people who use him and leave him later on. It’s always, oh Pat, you are a great friend and we enjoy your company so much, until it’s time to invite people places. 

Patroclus knew this game, it had been happening in high school and middle school, hell even in primary school, kids hanged out with him, played with him and left him, with no explanation. He had hoped that in university, things would be better. But nothing got better, and Patroclus was left facing the same treatment from different people each time.

The only person who has stood by his side the longest was Achilles. Since high school, Achilles had grabbed his arm and never let go. Patroclus never knew why, but it led him to be more anxious, anxious of Achilles leaving him, finding someone else, someone better. 

This thought was enough to get him finally out of bed and dressing. He should be there for Achilles during his practice, he should wait there on the side lines like the girlfriends of other teammates do. He should show Achilles that he cared before Achilles would leave him too. 

He had to take the bus from his flat to the campus. While Patroclus got to live alone in a single room flat, Achilles was obliged to stay at dorms since he was a first year. Starting university while Achilles was in his last year of high school was the hardest thing Patroclus had gone through.

He had moved to a new city; he was surrounded by new people and to fit in the had to follow the determined rules by other and follow along. Or so he thought.

He had lost his own identity for the first four months of university, he was so desperate to fit in and get along with people after his lousy experience of friendship in high school, that he lost himself. He was drinking every weekend, throwing up the whole day next day. He went to parties he would normally never step into. He gave up the hobbies he loved doing in favor of keeping up with what others were doing. 

When he had gone home that Christmas, Patroclus was a mess. Him and Achilles had gotten in a big fight over Patroclus’s new picked habits. Achilles yelled at him saying his wasn’t the Patroclus he knew, and if he had any idea how scared he was every time Patroclus called drunk from a random train station, and how hard it was to beg his boyfriend to stay conscious on the train over the phone, while he was miles away. Patroclus had cried in Achilles arms that night, Achilles holding him tight, telling him they would fix this together. 

They had sat down and talked about all Patroclus’s worries and problems and his concerns of not fitting in and Achilles spent hours explaining to him how it didn’t matter what others thought of him, as long as they had each other, as long as they stayed by each other’s side, it didn’t matter if there was no one else. 

He had sent Patroclus back somewhat fixed, and Patroclus kept his every given promise to Achilles. He stopped going to parties just to impress other or he was told so. He had gone back to doing what he loved and what made him happy. And he never once doubted that him and Achilles would have problems over the long distance because they trusted and respected each other.   
That summer, Achilles had gotten into the same university as Patroclus, and Patroclus could not be happier. That was until his grades came in, leading him to doubt whether he would be able to stay with Achilles. The summer had taken a turn from a happy, celebratory one to a one full of fights, heartbreaks and crying’s. Patroclus’s father was enraged over Pat failing classes, his mother happy so that his boy could come back and be closer to her. Achilles had held Patroclus every night, wiped his tears and kissed his lips that asked the same question over and over again: “Why, why had he failed when he was so good back in high school?”

Everything seemed like it would go better from then on, with Achilles by his side, he wanted it to be good. But world had other plans for him. He was struggling with second year courses while re-taking classes from first year, he was getting let down by people he called friends. It was starting to look like his past experiences that he so dearly wanted to avoid. And he couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact on how he was struggling and failing when he was working hard for his classes.

As if this wasn’t taking a toll on his morale, his boyfriend was catching the eye of every girl and guy on campus. He knew Achilles was beautiful and attractive, he looked at that face all the time, of course he knew. But more than his look, Patroclus was in love with the person Achilles was; caring for what he loves with a stern and cool look on the outside, hard eyes that become softer when he looks at Patroclus, how he whispers soft words to his ear while they would sit in a big group, leaving everyone wondering of what they were talking. How Achilles wrapped his arms around Patroclus’s waist enabling him from leaving the bed. The sun shining in his eyes, making his eyes and his smile soft. How Achilles held onto his hand, intertwining their fingers with no care who is around. That was the Achilles he saw and loved, that was his Achilles.

But other people falling all over his boyfriend, right in front of him, dismissing his presence, it was starting to get on his nerves. It wasn’t Achilles’s fault and he did not blame his boyfriend, he blamed the people who had no sense of respect and just couldn’t take a hint. He also knew the talk, how Achilles could choose Patroclus, when he could be with anyone. It didn’t matter, he did not expect or care for other people’s understanding, but some days, it did hurt. 

Getting off the bus, he headed towards the track field. Even from where the stood, he could see the bleachers all crowded, and he knew the track team did not have that many people for it to be this crowded. Getting closer, he saw the un-official Achilles fan club filed up on the rows. He stood to the side near the entrance, leaning back to the bars behind him. 

He watched as Achilles’s muscles flexed as he ran, the strong legs hitting the ground, calves so full of muscle that they never shook. His posture perfect, like an animal adapted to running all his life, only one goal on his mind, catching the prey. 

Looking at the rest of the team, Patroclus almost felt sorry for them. They looked like amateurs standing next to Achilles’s well-built form, strong shoulders and perfect posture. Patroclus’s mind drifted to how those arms wrapped around his body, pulling two bodies together, merging them until they became one. How in the late of the night, those fingers traced his skin, leaving Patroclus’s body on fire, craving for more, always more. How those strong arms that looked deadly to others handled Patroclus so gently, teasing him until Patroclus had enough, flipping them over and devouring those arms and the rest of that body with his warm mouth, this time leaving his lover craving for more, always more. 

Those green eyes met his own even across the field. Achilles could always spot him wherever he was. As if two people who could sense each other’s presence without looking up. He smiled his very rare smiled, only for Patroclus, as he made his way towards him. From the moment they lock eyes to the moment Achilles wrapped him in his embrace, there was only two of them that existed in that place. Time and space stopped differing as the two of them hugged as if it was both the first and the last time, they would hold each other. 

It was always like that, their greeting always had the sadness of departure, as if their souls had already known what is it to lose each other. 

Coming back down, Patroclus felt the eyes of everyone around burning on his back. he stiffened as he tried to pull away from Achilles’s arms, but Achilles held on tighter. Leaning in to Patroclus’s ear, he whispered;

“Why should I care if they are watching while I am hugging my boyfriend, why should you care?” 

Breathing Achilles in, Patroclus pulled back with a sad smile and squeezed his boyfriend’s shoulder. Achilles held his gaze a minute longer before turning to head to the showers. Patroclus sighed, cursing himself over and over again for the way that he had acted just now. He saw that the crow on the bleachers were staring at him, he turned back to his old spot without meeting their gaze. He could guess the silent conversations they were having by now; “how did Achilles end up with him, if they are childhood friends why don’t they just break up they were clearly confused over their feeling of friendship with love, he doesn’t deserve Achilles at all.”

As if he did not know that, as if every day since he started university, he hadn’t felt undeserving of the care and love he got from Achilles, the same care and love he got even when he had messed up. 

Blinking back to reality, he realized Achilles was standing next to him, studying him. Satisfied with what he read from Patroclus’s expression, Achilles nod once putting his arm around the others shoulder. Achilles could always read him; Patroclus had stopped long ago trying to hide how he really felt from Achilles. 

Walking back to the train station, Achilles leaned down to press a kiss to Patroclus’s temple. “Thank you for coming.” Patroclus smiled back;

“Of course, everyone comes to cheer on their boyfriend, right?” The hand draped over Pat’s shoulder moved to the nape of his neck, playing with the hair there.

“Hmm, yeah, but not everyone comes while suffering from a headache.” Patroclus felt his face getting hotter, he wanted to protest saying he is fine, but the decided against it. He just kept quiet while waiting for the bus. 

The ride back to the flat was quiet. Reaching the door, Achilles pulled out his set of keys to Patroclus’s apartment, which always put a smile on his face. Home, he thought, this was home. And soon he too would move in here with Patroclus, and they wouldn’t have to say goodbye at nights anymore. 

Shedding of their jackets, Achilles headed to Patroclus’s room, dropping himself face forward onto the bed. Patroclus changed into something more comfortable and tried to find a place on to bed, moving around his sprawled boyfriend. 

“Achilles” he groaned. “Hmm” was the only reply he got back. 

“I can’t find space to fit.” Turning around in one swift move, Achilles wrapped his arms around Patroclus, pulling he yelping boy into his chest, tucking his head under his chin and liking their legs together.

“Here, you fit here just perfect.” 

Patroclus was left speechless. However many times he had heard these cheesy remarks from his boyfriend, he could never get used to them. Unable to stop himself, he smiled. Peeking an eye open to sneak a look at Patroclus, Achilles caught the sight of the smile tugging at the corners of his boyfriend’s mouth. 

“There,” he whispered into the others hair, “that’s the smile I adore.” After a long pause of comfortable silence, Achilles spoke up; 

“It is not true, the things playing in your head, the gossip you keep hearing, the self-doubts you have. None of it is true. You are perfect, caring, kind. You are not a failure and never a burden, not to me, never to me. I love taking care of you, and I always will because I love you, because I know you would do the same. You have friends who genuinely care for you and I know it’s hard to believe that they will stay when you have been hurt many times but trust me if I say someone is good, I mean it.” 

He pulled Patroclus further into his chest, trying to close the little space that might have been left.

“And the talks of us dating and not matching and the other bullshit people speak, I don’t care what they say. This isn’t their relationship, they don’t get to say a word and they don’t deserve an explanation, it is between us and only belongs to us.”

“And I love you, Patroclus, I love you more than the soul in my body, the last breath in my lungs, you are the fire burning beneath my skin, heating me up whenever I need. You are me, Patroclus, everything that makes me alive and human. And I am you, everything that makes you alive and human. We match and complete each other.”

“So, let them talk, it does not matter, as long as I got you”

Without being able to stop the tears coming down or bother to wipe them, Patroclus turned his head around, reaching his mouth to Achilles’s already open one. Capturing those soft pink lips, he did not feel a spark or fireworks in his stomach, he felt like coming home. As the kiss deepened, he felt as if he was sailing across the sea, holding hands with Achilles and each time they stopped to breath, he felt like he was suffocating, because only Achilles could provide him the air he needed, filling his lungs. Pulling back, he looked at Achilles’s beautiful eyes that reflected his soul, and if he looked closely, he could see his own soul reflecting back at him. 

He smiled. A true one.

“I love you.” 

Achilles pressed their foreheads together, closing his eyes. Long after the other fell asleep, Patroclus stared at his boyfriend, taking into detail his every feature, like he did every night.

“I love you” he whispered. As the evening sun shined down on both of them, making them look golden.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it, every like and comment means a lot.


End file.
